This is one of the biggest mistakes people make and it can be extremely easy to start walking down the path when you feel as if your whole life has come crashing down.

This can spiral out of control very quickly if you are walking down this slippery slope.  I know it can feel next to impossible right now to see the light at the end of the tunnel but you must try and stay as strong as you can.

Many of us have felt solace at the bottom of a bottle, this is very common and natural.  You don’t want to be riddled with guilt right now which can make it even harder to stop and get your life back on the right track.  Alcohol and drugs are not the answer and while they may numb the pain now they will eventually do the complete opposite.

If you are struggling with ideas and words in your heads like “what’s the point”, “I’ve got nothing in my life”, “I can’t live without them” then I feel your pain.  We have all been there before with the feeling that no one and nothing can stop the pain which makes it incredibly difficult to get out of the mental and physical rut.

Don’t ever go down this path of self destruction thinking it will get your ex’s attention and make him or her change their mind about the break up.  Their heart may bleed for you but it will only prove to them they made the right decision to leave you and end the relationship.  This path is not the answer to reuniting and making them feel as if they made the wrong decision.

You need to remember that you once lived happily before you met your ex.  While the pain right now is telling you that you will never be happy again and love another person I want you to know that this is not true.  It is simply the idea that you have given yourself to allow yourself to explain the pain you are feeling right now.  I know it might be hard to hear right now but you really can be happy once again.

If ALL you want to do is to get your relationship back then you need to STOP doing what you are doing right now and be completely honest with yourself.  Hell, you need to ask yourself if you would be with you right now if you were your ex?

There are plenty of forums and message boards online today to help support you if you need to stop with any risky and dangerous behaviour like drinking and taking drugs.  If you want nothing more than to get the love of your life back then you need to start the process of getting yourself straight and sorted asap.

So, is it possible to remain friends and put aside all the history and emotion that the two of your shared.  This is a very difficult question to answer because in almost all cases the history between you both is simply to much to forget and let go.  This rings loud and true when one party still has feelings and is secretly plotting away at ways to get their lover back in time.

I can’t say that this is so in ALL cases.  I have seen people remain the best of friends after a break up for many years both happily and respectfully.  This usually occurs when both parties have let go completely and there are no other intentions in play.  When you consider that a completely mutual break up is extremely rare then it should come as no surprises that ex’s having a great friendship after ending things is almost impossible.

If you have tried to get him or her back then I am sure that you have told them you want to simply stay friends.  This is a very common statement made and in many cases it is accepted by the other party in order for things to settle down and for them to get some space.  It can be very difficult to discover the truth if your ex only said that as an empty thought or idea about remaining friends to get you off their back.

Regardless of your intent, this article is not to try and discourage you but to let you know that you do have things stacked up against you.  If you loved your ex deeply and dearly it can feel next to impossible to remain nothing but “friends” especially when you see them with someone else.

Think about this for a moment.  Are you ready to hear about their dates, partners and other things that could throw a spear through your heart? If not then I don’t think I need to tell you that it can be a very bad idea to stay in contact as friends or even acquaintances!  These are the serious questions you need to ask yourself right now if you are entertaining the idea about staying friends.  It can bring up a lot of pain and emotion and make it so much more difficult to get on with your life.

Breaking up can destroy us emotionally and physically and right now the only thoughts you have is how much you want to get your lover back in your life and in your arms right?

If you have spoken to family members or friends then they may have told you to get on with your life and to forget them.  How impossible is that right now?

It can feel like death to accept the fact that your relationship is over and that they are not coming back no matter what you do or try.

If you have stumbled across this site you would probably already know that this site was created to help people just like you turn things around and get your lover back.

Let me be completely honest, getting your partner back is VERY possible in most cases but there are times when the damage is too much or the emotions and pain too strong for reconciliation to ever occur.

If you have friends and family members involved with your ex telling you to stop calling them or harassing him or her then things might be close to the razors edge.  If other parties are involved it can get very messy and heated, especially when one party simply refuses to let go.

The question you need to ask yourself right now is can you lose more than you have if you accept the break up and let go?  The answer is no.  Your chances to reunite one day are NOT destroyed by being mature about the break up and telling him or her that you accept that things are over and giving them the space they have requested.

The last thing you want to do is turn into one of those guys or gals who turns into a complete nut job, this is not love causing you to behave like that but simply a bruised and smashed ego that refuses to accept change.  Being possessive, vindictive and callous is what you must avoid at all costs no matter what the pain in your heart and mind are telling you to do!

The best time to let go is right now because there is nothing to gain and everything to lose if you continue to cling onto your ex.  Make sure you think about that carefully, you can’t keep doing the same thing over and over and expect him or her to come running back, would you if you were them right now?  If the answer is hell no then it’s time to turn the tables and be honest when accessing your behaviour and actions.

The best thing you can do right now is be as mature as possible even if everything in your head is telling you to tell your ex to go to hell.

If you are wanting to get him or her back then you might be tempted to keep their things as long as possible in fear of not letting go and closing the final chapter of your relationship.

I strongly advise against this as it can stir up some crazy feelings, remember that you have their stuff and the right thing to do is give it back as soon as possible.  Being the bigger person right now will score you ALL the right points no matter how painful it might be to hand back their stuff, it can be gut wrenching but it doesn’t mean things are over for good.

Doing the right thing is NEVER a problem.  Don’t ever do crazy or silly things in hopes for another outcome to come through.  If you are tempted to hold their stuff, threaten that you will throw it away or give it away then you must change your approach.

Imagine how your ex feels with you saying that, if you want to get them back then you can safely bet on the fact you are not only destroying your chances but creating more problems than you have right now.

There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to giving their stuff back.  If they have requested for you to pack it up or for them to come and get it then you should not put things off, allow them to do so.

Stopping from them doing so will not mean you have a card in your pocket you can play to get them back!  This couldn’t be further from the truth and something you need to avoid at all costs.

I know it can feel next to impossible to pack up their stuff and give it back right now but you must, remember what is on the line!  You pretty much have NOTHING else to lose right now do you?

Giving their stuff back will not put the final nail in the coffin of your relationship, it can do the complete opposite if you are able to be mature and level headed during this time!  Trust me you can score some major points by being the bigger person no matter how much pain you are in right now.

DO NOT do what so many others before you have done by throwing away your ex’s possessions out of spite, oh how I can’t tell you how much hell you can get for this no matter how valuable they might be.

Expect hell if you do this and a beast you might not be able to tame! No matter happens tomorrow, next week or a month from now you want to have your dignity and self respect, don’t throw it away because of the pain you are going through at the moment, it’s simply not worth it!

How times have changed, now we can pretty much spam anyone with text messages, voice mails, emails and social media stalking all from our cell phones! How times have changed!  If this sounds like something you are doing right now then you need to read this article carefully and think twice about the path you are on!

I can’t stress enough how important it is for you to stop bombarding your ex with text messages, calls, emails and chasing their whereabouts on Facebook.

I know your heart is bleeding right now but this does not mean you do everything in your power to push your ex away for good!  If you want to get him or her back then you are going about it in ALL the wrong ways, what you are doing right now will essentially ensure your ex stays as far away from you as possible.  If you are lucky you may not get a restraining order against you.

Now that I have that out of the way it’s time to turn things around and get yourself sorted.  Don’t be THAT person!  Put down the cell phone and stop with the harassment.

Once, twice, three times a lady as the saying goes, sorry, I couldn’t help myself but you get the idea.  If your ex didn’t response the first or second time I can assure you the spamming of their inbox will do little to change their mind and get them to return your text messages or calls!

Think about the image your are portraying right now.  Would you want to be with “you” if you were your ex?  Be honest with yourself, chances are you would run for the hills which is pretty much what your ex is doing right now.

I know this might sound harsh but it is some tough love for you to get yourself sorted out asap!  Don’t become one of those ex’s that would get the message and is doing everything in their power to make someone else’s life hell!

If you want ANY chance to reunite then you must stop and change your approach immediately and I don’t mean tomorrow I mean right now.

Put the phone down, DON’T send that email and whatever you do make sure that you can respect your ex when he or she says to leave them alone.  I know the pain is a lot to bare right now but pushing and pulling as hard as you can is NOT the answer.

If you are stuck then check out some of the great step by step tips and guides on this site to take away the anxiety and get you on the right path for reuniting.

It can be next to impossible to accept a break up especially when you want nothing more than to have the love of your life back in your arms.

The fact is that we have all been there before and for some one us it has left scars that we may regret for life.

The best advice I can give you right now is not to let your pain take you over and succumb to the anxiety and heartbreak that has taken its hold.

I know that might be easier said than done and in many ways it is but there is no other way around it.  Right now you can lose a lot more than your ex.

You maybe feeling as if you don’t care what those things can be but within weeks or even months from now you may look back in regret if you are not careful.

We are all guilty of making this mistake when we have pushed friends and family members away after a break up or gone far into an emotional slide and depression that we don’t know who or what we are anymore.

If you feel this way then I feel your pain, it is normal but you need to summon up the strength to work through it.

It might be close to impossible right now to recognise all the wonderful and amazing things in your life but you need to try.  Always be grateful for what you have and not look towards things you don’t have to make you happy or fill the void.

A break up is not the end of the world and in most cases they can be reversed.  You don’t have to look far on this website to see exactly how to do this, if that’s what you want then please search away right now!

Your family and friends will be there for you through thick and thin but you can’t alienate them or yourself but becoming someone who you are not because of the pain you are going through right now.

It is important to try and think before you get too angry and push away the very people that are there in your life to support you no matter what.

This is a very common mistake and I encourage you to try and bite your tongue before things escalate if you feel your emotions are too erratic to control.

We have all been where you are right now and the pain can feel impossible to bare but it does become easier.  The best advice I can give you is not to live in resentment, spite, angry or bitterness.

Your ex has his or her reasons for leaving and no matter what they are you must respect them, especially if you want to reunite one day soon.

Not all break ups are final that’s why you can’t make things worse by pushing your lover away and this including being horrible to your friends or family that try and offer advice and support.

If you are reading this then chances are your heart is already split in two about the break up let alone the idea of your lover in the arms of another.

There are probably so many emotions running through you right now that it can be very hard to think carefully, especially when we are talking about someone who maybe the love of your life.

I won’t mix words or make what I say anymore difficult to swallow than what it has to be.

Right now it is time to do the opposite of what your heart is telling you.  Yep, that’s right, time to put a smile on your dial and pretend that it does not effect you especially if you are still in contact with your ex.

Let me blunt, rebound relationships RARELY work, what your ex might see as something as fresh and new might turn into the complete opposite in a short period of time.

The LAST thing you want to do right now is play the jealousy card, become possessive, start harassing your ex or their new flame! You must resist ALL temptation to pass judgement and tell your ex exactly what you think of their new man or woman!

If your ex is throwing it in your face that they are now with someone else your blood is probably boiling but don’t drop to that level.  It is critical that you smile, act confidently and pretend as if their new flame does not bother you in the slightest.

Remember, everyone wants what they can’t have and this includes your ex no matter how your relationship ended.

You don’t want to be waiting by the sidelines and hoping they break up so you can slip straight back in, this is not the right way to see things and even if this happens it won’t fix the problems that lead to the both of you breaking up.

It might be horrible to hear right now but you need to forget about your ex and avoid their calls and text messages.

Don’t be the gay or gal that is sitting there waiting for their ex to come back when things don’t work!  The last thing you want them to feel is that they you will take them back if they find out that the grass is not greener on the other side.

Believe me, it can be extremely difficult to do but it is paramount if you want to give yourself a great chance at turning things around for the better.

There are a few things you can do to get your lover back.  The first is to show him or her that you are still the same person they fall in love with, this means you put a smile on your face, remain confidence, positive and laugh!

I can’t stress enough how effective it can be when your ex sees you or hears about you still loving life without them in it!

The next is to tell your ex that you are happy for them.  Be sincere, right now you have everything to gain and NOTHING to lose, you may feel as if this will push him or her away for good but it won’t.

You need to show your ex that you respect them and you want them to be happy before you stand a chance of getting back together!

This is one of the biggest mistakes you can make and can lead to so much pain and devastation and there is a chance that you are doing that right now.  If you are then I can’t stress enough the importance for you to stop immediately.

The very last thing you want to do is make your ex feel as if her or she can do whatever they please while you are sitting around still wanting for them.  Not only can this lead to more heartbreak but your ex can feel like they can have their cake and eat it to like there are NO consequences to their actions.

It is very common for an ex to come running back when they release the grass is not greener on the other side or when things don’t work out with the guy or gal they thought they could be with.  This is very common and you something you need to remember at all times.

You need to make your ex feel like you have moved on with your life.  It is no good for you to sit by the phone and pray for them to call you and get in touch.  Desperation and wishful thinking right now will not turn your relationship around and fix the problems that lead to your ex leaving you.

The next thing you have got to ask yourself is do you really want to be “that person” no matter how much you love your former partner?  I know love can make us blind but it is critical that you can still think logically and clearly.

This can be extremely difficult with nothing but pain cursing through our body but I recommend not acting on impulse if you can avoid it.

You don’t have to tell your ex to go to hell to get your message across or tell him or her you will never take them back, simply ensure you are not waiting around praying for things to magically change one day soon.

You need to act as if the break up has not destroyed you and that you can continue to be happy without your ex in your life.  You don’t have to advertise these feelings on a billboard but just make sure you do not return your ex’s text messages or calls if they want to keep you waiting on the sidelines when they know they can use you for whatever their needs may be at the time!

Good luck and remember to stay as strong as possible!

This may work for SOME people but for a vast majority it will simply drive a dagger and wedge further between the both of you.

It might be tempting to lavish your partner with gifts in an attempt to show him or her how much they mean to you but I strongly recommend against it. If you are guilty of doing it then stop immediately.

The next thing you need to know is do you REALLY want your ex to come back to you because you bought them back? While it might temporarily stop the pain by having him or her back it doesn’t say a lot about you OR them does it?

Nothing wrong about sending some flowers or a card to say sorry especially if they are not talking to you but keep things at bay. There is no need to try and show how much you love them by spending a small fortune. Many times this can paint a very different picture than one you are trying to send and this can make matters worse and can ruin any chance you may have had to reunite!

Don’t act desperate! I can’t stress enough how many people make this mistake in the sheer hopes of showing their ex how much they love them. It can blow up in your face fast, no one wants a desperate and clingy partner and this includes your ex, believe me.

There really isn’t a lot you can do right now to make him or her change their mind apart from giving them space. Buying them back is certainly NOT one of them and should never be, you must resist this temptation at all costs no matter how desperate things can get. If you want ANY chance to get back together then please listen to this suggestion.

There are some great guides on this site that can help you get started that will not cost you a single dollar in the process. Winning your lover back does not have to be rocket science when you know how to push their buttons and turn back the clock. It is possible to reunite but the ball is in your court and how you play your cards, I can’t tell you what will happen but I can assure you that trying to buy him or her back is NOT the answer you are looking for.

This can be a very difficult question to answer but there are some tell tale signs that can hopefully answer the questions you have.

First thing, do you REALLY want to know if your lover left you for someone else?  It can not only rip your heart further but leave your ego crushed, think about this carefully before you continue to read this article.  Second, will it make you let go and move on with your life if the answer is yes or will it simply upset you further and make you spiteful?

One tell tale sign is if her or she was being very secretive and holding onto their cell phone like their life depended on it.  Cell phones are a cheaters weapon of choice as things like text messages and SMS can make communication extremely discreet.  Another sign is if they were constantly deleting their call history on their cell or abruptly ending calls around you.

Did they recently change their lifestyle like joining a gym and a sudden interest in reinventing themselves.  Were they buying new clothes, perfume or cologne that they never seem to wear around you?

Another is if they were being very secretive on the computer.  It should come as no surprise that more and more people who are in relationships, even married couples are looking on the web for a “good time”.

Usually when a partner is cheating they start becoming more critical of your actions or lack of actions.  This is usually because they are trying to justify the fact that they are cheating or want to cheat and settle their conscious.  Have a think about how things were weeks and months leading to your break up.

This is not a hard and fast rule it can give you great insight when looking back by remembering the subtle things you never picked up at the time because emotions were running wild.

Was your partner making the excuse that tonight is a girls only or guys only night with friends.  This is a sure fire way to keep you at bay and not suspect a thing.  Many desperate ex’s looking to discover the cold hard truth will try and ask a mutual friend if they were in fact cheating on them.  This can be a very slippery slide and get you into some serious trouble, think twice before walking down this road.

If you are struggling to get on with your life then I strongly recommend taking your time to read some of the articles on this site to take away your anxiety and dispair.